Feeling very optimistic today. Talked to my dad for 40 minutes, longest conversation we've had in a long time, about christmas, family, and careers [yes, I'm already starting my xmas shopping]
This past week Josh and I have successfully gone to the gym Monday night then Tue, Wed, Thur, and Fri morning before I had to be at work at 8am
I've come to terms that no true savings will be able to start until 2011 because I have taxes to finish paying, a bill due to my old apartment, and tags for my car along with regular life expenses like rent, car, insurance, gas, food etc &christmas coming up but I have an awesome boyfriend who helps with finances if I needed it, who brings down my stress level, and is the best support system I've ever had.
It makes me wonder why I spent so much time with someone like Drew when there was someone out there like Josh? But I do not regret it. I appreciate Drew SO much for the life lessons I have learned from him. If anything if I were to ever see him again I'd thank him.
excited for halloween and deannas black and white bday party.
Workin' every day except for Wednesdays. Been going to birthing classes w/ Jes on those days but there's only one left. I dont mind going w/ her but a girl needs a day off!
Last night I had a dream I was in a hospital but it was really a jail and i tried to escape but I got caught.
But before that I was in the woods with John. I was telling him how I planned to get him tattooed on my leg. Then all of a sudden he tattooed something on my leg it was a pic of 3 little kids. then we were walking in the woods and I saw a white cross and asked if he was ever going to get buried so I could visit him.
In my dreams I am very aware he is not living but I still talk to him like he is.
Our battles are repetitious if not broken poetry &maybe that's the attraction that you're as self-absorbed as me
You jumped to the conclusion &landed on my chest Now how am I supposed to make you see
I’ll just write this down with hopes that you'll understand I will no longer be disciplined by the frustrations of an insecure man &while I kissed your face you'll know that I will no longer apologize for your former lovers' mistakes
My past is mine to keep Now who are you to question me Perhaps, someday you'll learn too bad it's not our turn
You jumped to the conclusion &landed on my chest Now how am I supposed to make you see
I'll just write this down with hopes that you'll understand I will no longer be disciplined by the frustrations of an insecure man And while I kissed your face you'll know that I will no longer apologize for your former lovers' mistakes
You set the standard for my future You set the standard for my future (lovers)
I'll just write this down with hopes that you'll understand I can no longer be disciplined by the frustrations of an insecure man &as I kiss your face you'll know that I will no longer apologize for you former lovers mistakes
I am SO glad someone from my livejournal has been taking my private friends only pictures from livejournal and posting them on the 515 crew scene sluts page since april.
She is a beautiful, nice girl. But I still don't like her because i felt like I could never be her and I always felt like that was where you heart was at.
im just so fucking depressed i just cant seem to get out this slump if i could just get over this hump but i need something to pull me out this dump i took my bruises took my lumps fell down & i got right back up but i need that spark to get psyched back up and in order for me to pick the mic back up
i dont know how or why or when i ended up this position im in im started to feel dissin again so i decided just to pick this pen up and try to make an attempt to vent but i just cant admit or come to grips the fact that i may be done with rap i need a new outlet
and i know some shits so hard to swallow but i cant just sit back and wallow in my own sorrow but i know one fact ill be one tough act to follow one tough act to follow ill be one tough act to follow here today gone tomorrow but you'd have to walk a thousand miles
in my shoes, just to see what its like, to be me ill be you, lets trade shoes just to see what id be like to feel your pain, you feel mine go inside eachothers minds just to see what we'd find look at shit through eachothers eyes
it dont matter saying you aint beautiful they can all get fucked just stay true to you dont matter saying you aint beautiful they can all get fucked just stay true to you
i think im starting to lose my sense of humor everythings so tense and gloom i almost fee like i gotta check the temperature of the room just as soon as i walk in its like all eyes on me i try to avoid any eye contact cuz if i do that then it opens the door for conversation like i want that
im not looking for extra attention i just want to be just like you blend in with the rest of the room maybe just point me to the closest restroom i dont need no fucking man servant tryin ta follow me around and try to wipe my ass laugh at every single joke i crack and half of them aint even funny like hahhhhh "marshall your so funny man you should be a comedian god damn" unfortunately i am i just hide behind the tears of a clown so why dont you all sit downn listen to the tale that im about to tell hell we dont gotta trade our shoes and you dont gotta walk no thousand miles
in my shoes, just to see what its like, to be me ill be you, lets trade shoes just to see what id be like to feel your pain, you feel mine go inside eachothers minds just to see what we'd find look at shit through eachothers eyes it dont matter saying you aint beautiful they can all get fucked just stay true to you dont matter saying you aint beautiful they can all get fucked just stay true to you
nobody asked for life to deal us with these bullshit hands we're dealt we gotta take these cards ourselves and flip em dont expect no help now i could have either just stayed at home sit on my ass and pissed and moaned or take this situation with which im placed in and get up and kick my own
i was never the type of kid to wait by the door and pack his bags and sat on the porch and hope and prayed for a dad to show up who never did i just wanted to fit in in every single place every school i went i dreamed of being that cool kid even if it meant acting stupid and edna always told me keep making that face and it'll get stuck like that meanwhile im just standing there holding my tongue trynwa twalk like dwis then i stuck my tongue on that frozen stop sign pole at 8 years old i learned my lesson then cuz i wasn't trying to impress my friends no more but i already told you my whole life story not just based on my description cuz where you see it from where your sittin its probably 110% different i guess we would have to walk a mile in eachothers shoes at least what size you wear? i wear tens lets see if you can fit your feet
in my shoes, just to see what its like, to be me ill be you, lets trade shoes just to see what itd be like to feel your pain, you feel mine go inside eachothers minds just to see what we'd find look at shit through eachothers eyes it dont matter saying you aint beautiful they can all get fucked just stay true to you dont matter saying you aint beautiful they can all get fucked just stay true to you so it dont matter saying you aint beautiful they can all get fucked just stay true to you
cold